Re: What's the Point

Dear Hari,

At the outset, I commend you for addressing the letter to me. Had it been addressed to Varuna, it would have still reached me, but after a few hundred years (in your time). From the depths of the Ocean, he would have to redirect it all the way to my Head Quarters (High Heavens). And it would give him one more reason for shooting a taunting mail, with all my juniors in the CC that I am not doing enough to make the hierarchy clear to mortals.

I perfectly understand your dilemma, friend. And it's time you understood how we function here.
To put in simply, it's like a Venture Capitalist v/s Entrepreneurs. A certain sum is preordained, till the time the venture grows to be self sufficient, right? Like wise, we here at High Heavens had arrived at a consensus of a  rather heavy dose of rains to your city, considering it's sweltering summers, population, constructions...and of course Bollywood! This was met with some contempt even back then by my team of gods here, especially from the production unit of the Rains department.

Another thing you should know is what you call Rains, are actually tears of gods. My team go through horrendous pain while being lashed with a thunderbolt, till the mortal world is flooded by tears. So your city had all the more reason to get surplus rains, as we gods, who are otherwise quite apathetic to human pain, were moved to tears even without the thunderbolt lashings. Some instances in your city have been so funny that we laughed till we cried, and some so gruesome that we never laughed gain.

And as you know, friend, I also have to take the opinions of other forms of life as well, but thus far, I have been slightly partial to you humans. And whenever I did consider the opinions of birds, beasts and plants, they always were against any bill being passed in the favour of humans.

But this year's AGM saw a twist in the tale. I was met with two proposals - One from the gods from the production unit of the Rain Departments, and the other from the Spirit of Nature that co-exists with you guys.
The gods felts the production unit was being strained to the max, and Mumbai has been receiving a lot more than what it deserves and they demanded a severe cut in this year's targets.

And the Spirit of Nature's proposal stated that rains are needed elsewhere in the world as well, and demanded a new chart of distribution channels to be prepared.

At this time, Brihaspati, my trusted guide brought out a point. Mumbai has run out of it's Karma, and it's time for it to be self-sufficient. (Remember the venture capitalist theory?) Pandemonium broke out, as some sections felt it would be grossly unfair, and may also cause a curse to be placed on us by our CEO Brahma for inconsiderate decision-making. (Also, I heard there are courts on earth that can sue us under "Acts of God"). And others found no wrong in cutting of rain supply to Mumbai, as we have given it more that what we were supposed to.

Whenever such situations arise, Brishaspati once again, perfectly recollects ancients laws and solves the problem. He mentioned a law that states that when disputes relating to the Weather department, including but not limited to its subsidiaries, results in a conflict of interest between the Gods, the Spirit of Nature will have the final word.

For the first time in a long time (that's in my time), the Spirit of Nature spoke in favour of your race! She made a small presentation about certain individuals, who slowly but surely are making your city inch towards the mandated self sufficiency with respect to rainfall.

She mentioned that it's perfectly fine to reduce the rainfall this year, as this will act as a major emotional booster for such individuals, and to the people they approach for support, leading to more serious actions being taken.

So dear Hari, here's the actual reason why I am even replying to the query of a mortal. Nature Baba and Project 35 trees came up repeatedly in her presentation, and your effort in writing to me further strengthened her points.

So the bottom line, continue your efforts. Explore, educate and inspire. The Gods have done their bit for your city. And we are glad we can take a break, as the likes of you are doing the needful. Who knows? maybe your actions will move us gods once again to tears. To tears of joy, and your city will be drenched again.

Sincerely,
Indra
Chief Controller - Solar System
High Heavens

GOD IS A SHE

The first Monday of the Month of March dedicates itself to women. Women achievers (who are mostly from the entertainment industry) give long interviews, pose for glamorous pictures while the retail and service sectors offer free movies, free lunch, and incredible sale on fashion accessories exclusively for women.

The cell phone network companies make their share of profit – The men send out inspiring text messages mostly to women whom they hope to impress someday which indeed is quite an exhaustive list.

So the world thinks it is doing a favour on women by dedicating one day in a year for them, when the rich and the famous women, who anyways occupy considerable media space occupy a bit more and consumerism decides to capitalize by enticing women for free stuff and taking full advantage of them to ensure they visit the store/restaurant/cinema again even without the free offer.

But who are the real women? And why do we need one day to honour them? Since we trample upon them, abuse them and take them for granted the rest of the year, someone decided to humour women, and the world agreed unanimously.

I’ve always believed that if there is a god, it is a she. A man can never be so compassionate, understanding, tender and selfless to the point of compromising the most cherished desires/ambitions. The male ego dominates the world to such an extent that the underlying female energy that powers the world is suppressed. This again is possible because of the unconditional, forgiving nature of the female.

The other day, like millions of Indians, I too basked in the glory of my cricketing idol Sachin Tendulkar scoring a double hundred in one-day internationals. While adulations kept pouring for him across the world, with petitions to give him the Bharat Ratna, I stopped celebrating.

There has been a double hundred scored in ODI before. 29 runs more than the master and in just 8 more deliveries. This was in a world cup match in 1997. Belinda Clark, achieved this 13 years ago in Mumbai, in a world cup match against Denmark. This has appeared in the mainstream media only during the Women’s day after Sachin Tendulkar achieved this feat. Had the master not reached his double ton, perhaps I would never have known she existed!

When the world media splashed across with headlines calling Sachin Tendulkar as “the first in the planet to score a double hundred in ODI” did we hear Belinda protesting? Did she call a press conference? When Sachin drove away in a Volvo S80 and was richer by Crores after his feat, did Belinda throw any tantrums?

This is the real woman. There is a Belinda in every woman, which is invisible to the male ego, which is why men seek god elsewhere. God is indeed a SHE.

And men? Well, Men crib about not getting due credit for a film inspired by a story written by them.

Bon Voyage

So it's a brand new year. Yet another successful completion of orbiting the sun. Within this monotonous journey of going round and round, several journeys take dramatic turns. Some of them abruptly end (C. Ashwath, Dr. Vishnuvardhan, MJ and millions of less popular "travellers"), some of them get magical "upgradations"(Several recent cricket heroes and stars from filmdom), many passengers had to get off their plane and wait for a bus (Reccesion Repercussions)...

Amidst these radical changes, embarking on a brand new journey is inevitable. While heading to the unknown destination and (nonsensically) revolving around the huge mass of energy with nothing but hope (and gravity)as a means of support, each passenger soul pursues several journeys. Life is not a journey, but several journeys that enigmatically reach the same destination. It better be the same destination. I presume atleast there is no chaos in death.

The last year for me has been more than an interesting journey. It has brought out all the facets of my personality. It has been the most fruitful year so far in terms of discovering "who the hell am I?".

I surprised myself in bringing out several facets which I never knew existed within me. In some cases, I never wanted such facets to exist within me. The atheist I was attempts to converse with the supreme (of course, he says,"if it exists"), the family hater I was yearns for a family, the unromantic, snobbish "I-do-what-I-want" guy is crazily in love. To the point of compromising. Oh yes, the smoker in me has died and the lover of the evening drink in me prefers fruit juice.

Have you ever heard of some one altering the course of their journey just to spend more time with a co-passenger? I hadn't. Till I heard about myself. One co-passenger accompanies me on a journey and since that moment, I decide "screw my ticket, I go where she goes". Of course, it is a she. Only a woman can make a man feel so.

This year, two new journeys have begun - the journey within, and the journey with my beautiful co-passenger. They might lead to several journeys. Hopefully, together.

I wish and pray that she remains my co-passenger during all my journeys henceforth. Even after the destined destination if possible. Like may be we decide to have coffee after the last stop. And then board another bus together. For yet another journey. A journey that is encompassed within a predetermined round and round over some other star. I do not know whether I will have gravity for support then. But I will surely carry hope. Lots of it.

A day without earphones

Ever since I have been using the Samsung SGH F270, (to be precise, 8 months) I do not remember a single day without the earphones. (I do not enjoy music on the phone's loudspeaker, as I cannot feel the finer nuances of the compositions, unless I have my ear phones on, or I listen in a 5.1 sound system.)

Except during working hours, the rest of my day seemed like a motion picture, with the perfect re-recording. Be it FM radio or the numerous playlists - thanks to the 2GB memory card, I had background music during my commuting, solitary walks, my evening drink and even during late night sms sessions with certain cronies.

Yesterday, I left behind my earphones at my good friend Bharath's residence. It was on my way back that I realised I had almost forgotten the ambient music of Bengaluru city. The honking of vehicles, the yells and frustrations of the traffic stuck behind L-Boards, hawkers shouting at the top of their voices, shrill whistles of the traffic cops, the synchronised starting of the engines a few seconds before the traffic lights turned green, the mobile phone conversation of co-passengers which are loud enough for the conversation to have happened without a phone...I heard all these with the amazement of a 13th century citizen who had had a time-slip.

This morning I went for my usual jog, but not the usual way. I jogged sans any recorded music. It had been ages (8 months, to be precise) since I had heard the chirping of birds, the laughter of the child I have been seeing since you know when, as it plays by, while her grandfather does his exercises, the conversations of women waiting to fill their buckets with water, the sounds of running - well-regulated and protected by running shoes, the chattering of over-weight housewives who talk more than they walk...and yes, for the first time since, you know when, I heard my own heart beat after 8 rounds of jogging and 2 rounds of sprinting. After ages, I heard my breath which was in sync with me wiping the sweat off my brow. I found back ground music again.

Much as I love music, it is this love which has made me decide to do away with earphones for a while. Let me add some ambient audio in the re-recording of my life. I at least feel natural, not like an actor waiting for someone to say cut.

Life is but a dream....

"What makes you think I'll give up?" he asked in a slightly louder tone than he intended, which led to several heads turning towards them in the upmarket bistro. This sudden attention did not seem to distract her as she retorted in an equally loud tone, "But Sid, you are aware that the odds are completely against you. There is tension brewing in the family, there is nothing but empty promises which people have made, and most importantly, there is no money coming in."

"Mithu, in this field, when it rains, it pours. My intuition tells me that it's going to pour soon, very soon. This project which is scheduled to begin next week is sure to be my breakthrough."

"I am amazed Sid. You've become just like a million dreamers in this country, who think they are the next Shah Rukh Khan...."

"So you mean to say, I have no talent, no potential, and I am just-another-struggler?, then all those words of praise which you showered after my plays, were a hoax...? Mithu, there is no need to be hypocritical with me. And what do you know about cinema, about theatre and acting? Though by qualification, I am a Software Engineer, and a better programmer than you, do I comment on your programming....?"

"Excuse me sir?....Can you please lower your tone? thank you sir.." The stern interruption brought Siddharth and Mithila back to the bistro, and they finished their coffee in silence.

The silence continued as they walked from the bistro to his bike. As Mithila waited by his bike, Siddharth went across the road to get himself a cigarette.

"I am sorry, really sorry" he said, as he stubbed out the cigarette. "You know, I really did'nt mean...."

"It's okay Sid..its been five years now, I am so used to you. Lets not talk about it. We've met after a whole week, lets just have a good time and not spoil it with another fight...and hey, hurry up! the movie begins in 45 minutes, today being a weekend, tickets might be difficult to get..."

"errr...Mithu, I am sorry again, but you know, I am totally broke, with great difficulty I could get 50 bucks for petrol from mom...."

"Who's asking you to pay? come on lets go..."

She clung to him tightly as he kick-started the 15 year old, 2-stroke engine.

As they rode, this time too, the world around them ceased to exist.

A Toast to Success...

This whole month in general, and the last couple of days in particular seems to have dedicated itself to savour the moment of success. Slumdog is on every one's lips, ears and any other part of the human anatomy capable of perception.

At this moment, I wish to raise a toast to a success, which is not publicized, but a success no less spectacular. I wish to raise a toast, to my dear friends, who after five years of solid hard work, dedication and commitment, have cleared their MBBS, and have realized their first step towards getting a foothold in this noble profession.

As smses and phone calls sending congratulatory messages kept me occupied yesterday, I was amazed at the academic brilliance shown by those with whom I had the honour of sharing the same class room benches.

Chengappa scoring 72%, Arjun 69%, Skandesh 68%, Amit 61%, Nischal 72% and a whopping distinction of 75% by Aakash gave me that confidence that the health of our country is in safe hands.

I would congratulate Aakash in particular, for his words post my congratulatory sms, "making money is just one thing, I am glad I can be of some use to society". Knowing him for so many years, I can distinguish the same words clearly from the speeches of several "netas" I have covered during my stint as a journalist. I know for sure, he means what he says.

The success of Skandesh is nothing surprising. The very epitome of hardwork, steadfast commitment and amazing concentration, Skandesh creates nothing else but a spectacle.

As the world celebrates the Oscars, I raise a silent toast to these friends and to all those who are doctors now ,and wish them all the very best.

Musings by a Mandolin enthusiast

When I finally decided to pick up a new mandolin yesterday, (my old one is about to dump me, as I haven't paid her enough attention), I never thought I would actually blog about it.

Before I come to that part of my efforts to purchase one, it's worth mentioning here about the public perspective to this instrument. Eleven out of Ten people have asked me "what's is a mandolin?" and after I try to explain it in terms of size, that it is a string instrument like a guitar but different in numerous ways, has eight strings, "Mandolin" Srinivas...I still see a blank expression, till I throw the whopper "the instrument SRK plays in DDLJ". Instantaneously, a wave of recognition reflects. I guess I should say the "definition" instead of Mandolin, next time someone (PYTs in particular) asks me about my musical interests.

Anyways, back to my efforts to buy a mandolin here in Bengaluru, the experience was hilarious, yet showed me a very disappointing state-of-affairs.

My first stop was at Shiva Musicals, Malleswaram. The shop is just the right size to torture some one by solitary confinement, and their walls decorated with certificates and more certificates about their steadfast commitment to music (Indian Music in Particular). As a stark contrast, whatever space is left in that dump they call a shop, is filled with guitars, synthesizers and rhythm pads. (I understand mandolin is not an Indian Instrument, and I have nothing against western music.) When I enquired about the mandolin, he looked at me as if I were lice he had just pulled out of his hair, and said "Sir, this is a musical instruments shop...." Without bothering to retort, I walked out.

Next, I was at Sound Glitz, Residency Road. The punk over there was strumming a guitar, and strumming well. I patiently waited for him to finish. He then said " yes sir?". Feeling glad that some one is so engrossed in music, yet irritated that a customer was being ignored, I repeated my mandolin interest. He immediately went back to strumming, as if I was asking for "baksheesh" and said, "not available".

Still convinced I can pick up a mandolin, I went over to Reynolds Inc, just across Sound Glitz. The person over there was astonished that some one wants a mandolin. Just when I was about to complete my sigh of relief, he surprised me by asking his assistant " Hey, call up the other store of ours and ask if they have something called a mandolin....". My friends who had accompanied me, now began to doubt whether there was actually a musical instrument called mandolin, or was this some kind of a joke I was playing on them. As expected, it was not available, but he gave me a bit of confidence by saying "it is out of stock". That atleast convinced my friends I was not joking.

Now, I was not aware of any more shops. I then had a brainwave, to call JustDial, the phone directory service. Fantastic, as I searched my phone, I didn't have JustDial's number! Where can I call a directory who will give me the directorys number? So I called Pri, woke her up from her siesta, and made her give me some numbers she could find online. Poor thing, she obliged. Unfortunately, the phone went unanswered at Lewis and Sons, Koramangala and Aruna Musicals, Frazer Town said "they do not keep mandolins".

Then I decided to consider Premsons Musicals, Ulsoor, which was recommended by the Reynolds guy, he wasn't confident, but asked me to take a chance. My Good friend and a Violin Maestro, Dawn Jois, whom I had called to take an opinion, advised me strongly not to consider Premsons. Having no where else to go and nothing else to do, I visited Premsons. I was greeted by a closed shutter, and a big board which read "Sunday Holiday".

Just for a lark, I visited Yamaha Music Showroom, Indiranagar, I did not expect a mandolin there, but I was glad when the person there was aware of the instrument, and even said that they have mandolin tuners, but not a mandolin.

By now, I had considered it futile to buy a mandolin. My quest began at 1:15 PM, from my residence at HSR Layout, I travelled to Majestic, to meet my friends who promised to accompany me. From there to Malleswaram, and then to residency road, then Ulsoor, then Indiranagar... having covered an approximate distance of 45 km, I decided to call it quits at 4:45 PM.

While I was munching on the not-so-hot bajjis at Srihari Upahar, Indiranagar, I laughed it off to my friends, about the mandolin being a non entity, but deep within I felt, and am still feeling a pang of disgust, shame and helplessness. Helplessness and shame, because the world might not hear the melodious strains of the mandolin after a few years, and disgust, because, if people are ignorant about the mandolin, I, being a mandolin player, have treated my mandolin so shabbily, and have the audacity to talk about its extinction.